Putrid flowers
by BarbieisaSlut
Summary: YES! chapter four at last! 'Aeris' buys a new dress to replace that mangy old pink one...
1. coffee, electrics and pink dresses

"NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" My eyes welled up as Cloud, Vincent and Red XIII crumbled to the floor. Dead. Sephiroth had an insanely annoying smirk on his face as the credits rolled up the screen.

I felt like crying so took all my anger out on the floor by banging the controller mentally.

"Great!" I hissed, kinda pissed off, "Now I'm gonna have to start this putrid game AGAIN!"

My sister Rosie walked in the room, balancing five cups of coffee. "Haven't you got anything better to do with your time then play that dumb game?" She rolled her eyes, "It's so immature."

"Let's watch South Park." Laurence suggested.

Amy and Laurence were both lounging around on the sofa while I was lying on my stomach on the floor. Amy adjusted her 'emo' (hehe) glasses and glanced at Laurence. They both burst out laughing. Seriously, I think they're mental.

"Hey Katie, y'know even FREYA can kill Sephiroth…" Amy said between laughing her arse off, "And she's…she's five!" I just glared. Sometimes my friends don't really act like my friends. But hey, what can you do.

"Shurrup..." I crawled over to the playstation and opened it up. Suddenly my black bracelet got stuck on that doohickey that whirls around when you play games. Hey I'm not very technical okay? "Oh my gawd!"

I tugged but it wouldn't shift, "OHMIGODOHMIGODOHMIGODHELPME!" My free hand was waving around at all angles. Laurence had jumped up from the couch and was TRYING to help me.

"Stop thrashing around!" He yelled. Meanwhile Amy was almost choking with laughter.

Rosie was still standing there, carrying all the mugs. My hand hit the back of her knee and we all watched in slow-mo, mouth open as the coffee went flying and splashed all over the playstation.

Ah crap.

There was a really loud crackling noise. Hey, even I'm smart enough to know that water and electrics don't mix very well. I was thrown backwards and there was a huge white flash. And my last thought before I was knocked out cold?

'Aww… I hate the colour white…'

oOo0O0oOo

"Owie… my head…" I had a putrid headache. I seemed to be lying on my back, on some sort of soft thing. Hospital bed? Man, I hate hospitals. I have so many accidents I seem to be in and out of casualty…

My eyes snapped open. I wasn't lying on a BED I was laying on a bed of flowers! Putrid flowers! They always seem to get the better of me…

I hoisted myself upright and my heart almost stopped. My hair… was brown. Well, a light chestnutty colour anyway. Before it was a sort of bluey-black colour from when I'd tried to dye it purple and it went a bit wrong…

"Oh…kay…" I took a few wobbly steps forward, crushing the flowers with my boots. That was another weird thing, I noted. The pink bunny slippers were gone.

So was my precious lip-ring and, I looked at my wrist in horror, my murderdolls tattoo. In fact, all my tattoos had gone. Hey, I didn't know electricity was so powerful. I should have paid more attention in science class.

But then I caught sight of my reflection in a stained glass window. The room began to spin.

"HOLY SHITE!" I screamed, "I'm AERIS!" I hate Aeris. I find all the singing and flowering and stupid magical limit breaks all very… putrid. I prefer Vincent hehe. "I'm… Aeris!"

Yup. I had a long braid, pink dress and the big stick thing to prove it. This isn't happening… this isn't happening… OH MY GAWD!

'Okay… calm down…' I reassured myself, 'you're only a teenage girl stuck in a video game as the character you most hate. Just keep your head down and make slowly for the exit…'

No time for that! Before I could even make it halfway across the church I heard a yelling sound. I looked up, mouth wide open, as a familiar blonde swordsman crashed through the roof…

oOo0O0oOo

Moi: Want to know what happens next? Well you're just gonna have to review. Now that you've read it! Please? R&R! Flamers will be fed to my zombies.


	2. flowers, running and cloud being blonde

Moi: I don't own FFVII! Duh. if I did I'd be SO rich I'd become the queen of England and add two more consonants (F and C) to the UK to make my favourite word. Aw come on, work it out people!

oOo0O0oOo

I manically fanned my hands over Cloud's face. He didn't move a muscle.

"Aw, please don't die on me! Please! I don't want to be alone in this… game!" I screamed. Suddenly, one of his freakish blue eyes snapped open. He frowned, I grinned.

"YAYNESS!" I flung my arms round him and his eyes bugged out, "I'm so happy you're not dead!"

Cloud sat up and rubbed his head, "uh… where am I?" He glanced up at the ceiling where there was a massive Cloud-shaped hole in it. "That was some fall, huh?"

I tried to remember what Aeris said in the game but it was so long I'd played that bit that I'd totally forgot! Scratching the back of my neck Cloud-style, I grinned trying to look happy and cheery like a flower girl would.

"Uhm… you're in a church full of putri- I mean, pretty flowers, darlin'!" I chirped in a high pitched voice that wasn't me, "Teeheehee." Uh… neither was giggling.

The blonde raised an eyebrow, "Okay… what's your name?"

"Aeris!" I clapped a hand over my mouth the moment it had come out. I was GOING to say Katie but… it didn't seem right. Now I wish I hadn't of! 'Aeris' sounded too much like… uh… Airhead. "noit'snot!" I blurted.

Cloud looked pretty confuzzled, "So uhm… what IS your name then?"

"Aeris."

"But you said…"

"Don't worry bout it, Cloud, never mind what I said."

This wasn't going very well…

"How did you know my name was Cloud?" Grinning, an evil look was in my eyes. I love my evil look! It was gonna be so fun, I mean; I knew everything about these people. I played the game non-stop without eating or sleeping after all!

"I have psychic powers wooooooooooo!" I waggled my fingers around my head in a weirdo way, "I also know you come from Nibelheim."

He rubbed his head manically, "Uh… I must have hit my head on the way down…" He drew his sword and headed for the exit, "Anyway, see you around Aeris." Before he could make it to the door, I grabbed his arm and jerked him back.

"Wait!" I ordered, "I need a bodyguard!" Yes, even I'd admitted it! "This world is dangerous kinda place. I'm only a flower girl after all." Looking up at him with massive green eyes seemed to do the trick. He softened.

"Okay, okay." He smiled, "Let's go then."

"GREAT!" I felt totally relieved that I was getting out of here. The pink flowers were very unnerving, "Let's go and get some fried chicken and beer, I'm starving and I've been sober for hours. Oh… oh… and do you have those chicken wrap thingys here? Mmm-mmm."

My rambling about yummy food was interrupted when a redhead stepped in my path. Ah crap, I'd totally forgotten about the Turks. In reality, Reno kinda looked like someone I fancied in year 2. He broke my heart.

"Hey sister-"

"Uhm… LEG IT!" I grabbed Cloud's arm and ran across the flowerbed, through the door and out into the actual church-y bit.

"Aeris! What the hell?"

What can I say? I don't like conflict.

"I'm… sorry… bout… that…" I panted, pegging it up to the big tube and looking down at him, "Hurry up then, are you coming or what?"

Suddenly, a group of soldiers in blue uniform ran in and pointed their guns. I looked over my shoulder to see what they were aiming at. Gawd, I tell ya sometimes my brain goes on holiday.

"Get the ancient!" I didn't need to be told twice. Bullets pummeled the metal tube somewhere near my feet and I jumped up in the air to get out the way. Unfortunately, this was the wrong move. My dress got tangled up around my feet and I slid, face-first, down the pipe screaming and swearing.

The soldiers looked at each other.

"Wow I've never heard a flower-girl say THAT before..."

I looked up, rubbing my butt, and saw that Cloud had already taken out most of the soldiers and was running towards me.

"GAAAAAAAAHHH! HELP!" I ran like I'd never ran before. Okay, so running wasn't my strongest point. At school, I'd always bunk off PE and hide in the ladies toilets or something until the horrific incident (such as uhm... cross-country :shudder:) was over. Aeris sure can go.

Finally, we made it onto the roof.

"oh...my...bloody... gawd..." I grasped my knees, gasping for breath. Cloud slapped my back, "OUCH! I'm not choking, dumbarse!" Standing up, I scanned the horizon. Blimey, Midgar sure was a lot realer than I thought it was.

"Uhm... my house is over there-ish." I pointed to a random place, "Let's go quick, before those putrid Turks come back."

Cloud laughed, "Putrid? That's a cool word. Putr-" I interrupted him by slapping him upside the head, "What was that for?"

"That's my word!" I declared, "I copyright it! Come on then, are you comin' back to my place or what?" The flowery voice had totally gone. And by the time I'd turned around, so had Cloud.

"HHHEEEEEEYYY!"

oOo0O0oOo

Moi: Sorry I had to end it quick, but I'm going in the bath so uhm... r&r people! I'm not gonna make any more chapters until I get more reviews.


	3. midgar, scary mums and dementia

Walking through the MINGING streets of Midgar…well erm, tugging Cloud through the streets, was kinda weird. Usually, all the townspeople had big square heads and spoke in blue boxes but now they were just…normal. Midgar did have a kind of smell to it, like mangy dog water…

"Aeris, hold on a second…" I stopped dead and he rammed into the back of me. "Why were those people after you? Turks are usually scouting for possible members of soldier."

I raised an eyebrow. Being in the army was one of those things I'd NEVER EVER do- ever. Just the thought of having a 7 hour long P.E lesson every day was enough to put me off.

"Erlack! How putrid! No bloody way! As you can see, I'm not cut out for it." My legs were almost collapsing. "Oooh looky, my house!"

I stared up in amazement, jaw gaping with that dumb-arse look on my face. Flowers…everywhere! Like, everywhere. Even growing out of the bloody chimney! I mean, how mental is THAT? Answer…very.

"Wow." As cloud shuffled into the door I took great pleasure in dementedly running around the garden and stamping over all the flowers. Every now and then I stopped and jumped up and down a few times. Blimey, it was the most fun I'd had since landing in this dumb game.

Exhausted, I burst in the door and grinned, "Hey peoples!"

Cloud and my 'mum' were sitting at the table. Gawd, back home my real mum would have never worn an apron or had her hair up in a bun. It was all very…mum-ish. But inside, it made me kind of upset. Even though my parents and I didn't really get along, it was weird to think that I'd never see them again…

Oops. I hadn't realised I was staring up at the ceiling with an airy-fairy expression on my face. Although, it kinda suited Aeris. Heehee.

"Aeris!" Before I could open my gob, 'mum' threw her arms around me. My eyes bugged out and I stuck out my tongue. "You're home!" she announced loudly.

Well, duh.

"I was so very, very worried!"

I rolled my eyes, I snapped "No need. I can take care of myself, thanks." I gestured to the blonde, who was playing with the salt and pepper pots making them talk in squeaky voices, "Erm…this is Clod…I mean, Cloud."

Mum wasn't listening. "Never EVER go through that sector again! Do you understand me young lady? Huh? Do you? DO YOU?" Gawd, I didn't know she was that mental. A little vein had popped out on her head.

"OKAY!" I yelled back, "And don't call me young lady! I'm twenty one!"

She sighed, turning to Cloud. Her gentle voice was back. "They do grow up fast, don't they? Anyway, Aeris. I think Cloud will be staying a little longer. Please go and make the-"

"make a bed? WHY DON'T YOU?" I bolted upstairs and slammed the door.

"Cloud, I think you should leave whil-"

"I HEARD THAT!"

Home sweeeet home.

oOo0O0oOo

"AHA!" Leaping out of the door in a demented fashion, I was ready to give Clod the putrid shock of his life! But…there was nothing. It was, like, the fourth time I'd done that and he still hadn't come creeping across the landing! Damnation.

I frowned. Time to put this plan in action and get goin'! Poor poor Cloud was about to get an early waking. With my heavy boots I leapt up and high kicked his door, landing on my ass.

The door creaked open and a putrid MONSTER came shuffling out. The hideous sight made my jaw drop open and SCREAM.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"Oh…Aeris?"

Twas my 'mum'. Her face was covered in some sort of nasty bright green gunk and she was wearing a pink lacy nightie and pink furry slippers. On top of her eyes were bits of mangy cucumber and her hair stuck up at all angles, just about tied down with pink rollers.

"Gawd, wench! You scared the livin' daylights out of me!" I leapt up, "Where's Cloud?" My brain pieced the puzzle together. Wow, this game made me so much clevererer. "He's gone? NOOOO!"

No time to talk, I was gone. I ran down the stairs out the door and into the street. I can't believe the only guy who could possibly defend me against evil Final Fantasy monsters was GONE! I dropped to my knees and threw my head back.

"CCCCCCCLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!"

Poink.

Poink.

Poinkpoink.

Someone was tapping on my shoulder! I looked round and saw the one and only staring down at me with a puzzled expression on his lil face. I ALSO saw that several townspeople were staring at me! Great.

"Erm Aeris…I'm right here." I got to my feet and punched his shoulder. It was meant to be lightly but he ended up clutching it in pain, "Ahhh…what was that for!"

"It's for leaving me alone! I want to come with you! It'll be, like, so much fun." I drawled, "But at least it will save me from being shot or experimented on!" Cheerily, I tried skipping away like a flower girl would but ended up flat on my face.

Putrid big boots.

oOo0O0oOo


	4. stealing, parks, and a right minger

Moi: Well my muse (his name is Wednesday) went on a little holiday for a bit but he's back now! So on with the fic! Oh yeah, and I own nothing! Do I have to keep repeating myself? Thanks for the reviews people, keep em coming!

By the way, just a little note to say LISTEN TO SOUL ON FIRE BY H.I.M! It's the most awesome song ever. Thankyou :bows:

oOo0O0oOo

I rubbed my head and stared on as the park loomed above me. Okay, the big cat slide thingummy wasn't as cute as it was in the game. Even though it scared me I'd always loved parks ever since I was a little kid running around screaming like a brat. Our park near my house got took down though, when a boy fell off the swings and the council removed it…

My bottom lip was trembling.

"Aeris? Are you coming up?" Cloud was ALREADY sitting on top looking like a dumbarse.

I gave him eeevils, "Okay, okay. Hold yer horses." Pretty soon I was up sitting next to him and then slid down the slide straight away. I couldn't be bothered talking about Zack and all that. Dead lovers…so putrid!

Swirling round on my heel, I grinned, "Look! Wasn't that so kewl! I'm going again." Honestly, I can be SO immature at times. Cloud just raised an eyebrow, his usual reaction.

"Uhm… I hate to break it to you Aeris but your dress is tucked into your pants."

I turned round. He was right. And they were the most mingingist, putrid, ugly (woot go adjectives!) pair of knickers I'd EVER seen. They were pink and had little blue flowers around the edge.

It was the most embarrassing moment since I had a piece of chewing gum stuck to my butt in year 8 and I fell in the waste-paper bin in front of the whole school during an assembly I made up on the spot about…oranges. But I kept a cool head and didn't panic like a maniac badger.

"I'm bored!" I announced quickly, yanking Clod off the slide and tugging him down the street, "Let's go shopping! I need a new dress. This one is just so…"

He cut me off, "I don't have any gil, Aeris." My face fell, "Don't look at me! You spent it all buying that jumbo lasagne sandwich, remember?"

I did remember. I still had most of it plastered across my face.

"Ohhh yeah. Well then, I'll just have to find OTHER ways of getting gil." I could see it now 'blonde stupid boy for sale only 25gil- house trained' I giggled, "C'mon, the shops will be shut by the time you're finished whining!"

Grabbing Cloud, I dragged him down the street and into wall market. It was pretty kewl actually, with all the shops. Shopping is, most definitely, my favourite sport. But I didn't have any gil and Cloud was looking at me in a very weird way…

"Hmmmmz…what could I sell?" I emptied my pockets. The remains of the sandwich, a few putrid (shudder) flowers and a couple of gil fell out. "Oh bloody hell!" There was another way to get a dress though…

oOo0O0oOo

"Excuse me missus." I skipped over to the lady working in the clothes store, "Erm…I need a dress that will look good on me." Giving her a twirl, I grinned. She looked kinda excited, business was probably bad when that shop only had two customers in it's entire lifetime.

"Oh oh oh oh oh oh…" The batty woman began rummaging through racks and racks of putrid dresses. Dresses! If my Mum was here she'd have the camera out by now. The only dress I owned was a skinny-dress I got from which said 'do your bit to clean up the streets- KILL a chav' on the front. "Oh oh oh oh oh…"

"Okay okay!" I grabbed a random dress, "Don't have a spaz attack!"

The one I'd picked was actually quite cool. It was black, of course, with little red bits on the side. There was also a massive slit up the side which did look slutty but in a good way I guess.

"Come on Cloud, let's go get changed."

"Hey, hey, HEY!" After I had shoved him into the tiny changing room, Cloud gave me major evils, "How are you going to pay for it? I thought you said…"

I rolled my eyes, "Oh who gives a monkey's arse what I said! Never listen to what I say!" Looking up, I could see a teeny tiny window with blurred out glass. With the end of my boot I could JUST about get it open. "There you go. I'm getting out of here. I dunno about you but I don't WANT to go to prison."

Cloud's behaviour reminded me of a batty old woman, "But you can't do that! Aeris, it's stealing." Aw come on, it is so not. I'm in a video game for crying out loud! But I wasn't going to say that now, was I? So I just smiled sweetly and said:

"If you don't get out of that window I am gonna rip off your nuts and tear you a new cornfield. Now SHIFT!"

It was easy-peasy getting Cloud out of the window. He didn't have a big stick to carry and a dress shoved into your skirt. It was only when half of me was out of the window when the lady banged on the door.

"Hey, would you guys get out of my shop and get a room?"

ERLACK! She thought we were…

No time to think! I flapped my arms around, "OI! Help me!" Cloud grabbed hold of my arms and tugged and tugged. Finally, I flew out of the hole and landed head-first in a dustbin. Niiice.

"Phew! That was too close for my condition." Grinning, I unfolded the black dress, "I need to find a place to change."

I went over to the 'golden wire' and raised my eyebrows at the little kid. The sight of a maniac flower girl, covered in banana skins and potato peeling, was NOT a pretty sight. He soon ran away heeheehee.

When I'd finally changed, I was SO happy to be out of the Aeris dress. I held it up to Cloud and laughed hysterically in a high-pitched way, "This would look SO good on you!"

You should have seen his face.


End file.
